Follow up to another rejection
In my last post I outlines my rejection by the Euroscript Screen Story Competition and the readers report I received. I sent an email briefly outlining my concerns. Here is the response I got back from the reader.
The relationship comes across very much as having a father-daughter dynamic, which is why I was left with that overriding impression (hence why I clumsily referred to it as such), although appreciate that this is a huge error to have made, and apologise that this has understandably left you thinking your treatment was dealt with inadequately. I hope that the analysis of the other elements of the treatment reflect the level of thought that has gone into what might be required to develop the treatment in future, however. There is a deal of character development required on Christine, regardless of the relationship, and as mentioned, the fractured style of writing should be amended so that the narrative is easier to follow and engage with. Currently the action is described in an abstract fashion rather than in a form that can easily be visualised, and this hinders the effectiveness of the treatment overall. Strong visually exciting scenes, with clearly defined characterisations that are multi-faceted and conveyed through behaviour and action as well as dialogue, will be of great importance for future drafts. Sincere apologies for the mix-up Darrin.